It is what it is.

My mother-in-law says that a lot.

Words of wisdom from a woman who has seen her share of trouble. Gran spent much of her life with poverty nipping at her heels. She endured segregation. She’s buried her husband and a son.

But don’t mistake her mantra as mere fatalism. It runs deeper than that. It’s a recognition that there are a lot of things in this life that you can’t control.

And you have to let them go.

It is what it is.

Good advice for times like these.

A pandemic grips the world.  Government has locked down our lives. We can’t go out to eat. We can’t go to the gym. We can’t go to the beach. Millions have lost their jobs. Thousands have fallen ill with COVID-19.

A lot we can’t control.

A few years ago, I started reading stoic philosophy. One of the key tenants is to control what you can control and let the rest go. Epictetus wrote, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

In other words, we often have little control over our circumstances, but we always have control over how we react to them. To take it a step further, we can’t control what other people do, but we can control how we respond to them.

I am not very good at it, but I find that when I focus on what I can control and let the rest go, I feel much more at peace and in control of my own life.

Epictetus also wrote, “Just keep in mind: the more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.”

When we obsess over things we can’t control, we effectively lose control over our own lives.

Jesus taught a similar principle in the Sermon on the Mount and took it a step further.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matt 6:24-34 (NIV)

Jesus not only tells us to let go of what we can’t control, he implores us not to worry about anything. God’s got this. Worrying won’t make things any better. In fact, worry steals your joy and paralyzes you into inaction.

I don’t think “don’t worry” don’t do anything. It’s not a call to passivity.  In fact, I think Jesus’ teaching dovetails with both Epictetus and Gran. It is what it is. Control what you can control. Let the rest go. And when you’ve done what you can do,  don’t worry.

So what can we control in the new era of coronavirus?

We should start with what we can’t control – other people. We can’t control whether our neighbor wears a mask or whether public officials close the gym. We can’t control whether we’re exposed to other people’s germs. We can’t control whether our employer shutters his doors.

But we can control our own actions. We can stake steps we deem necessary to protect ourselves and the people around us. We can lose weight, fix our diets and exercise so our immune systems can fight off germs. We can get our financial houses in order and position ourselves to navigate the economic chaos the lies ahead. We can reach out and strengthen our relationships with our families and friends. We can pray. And we can choose to not live in fear.

It is what it is. It truly is.

So, do not worry. Control what you can control. Let the rest go.  And live your life.